Dear my future self,
How are you today? I see you are smiling weakly. Are you struggling, trying to keep your faith, Imaan, up high? Did you make any slips today? Going back to the old routine you have tried so hard to detach from the moment you first changed.
Did I see a nod?
You haven’t met those awesome brothers/sisters (who always seem to have these awesome Imaan-booster reminders every time you met them) for days now, possibly weeks! All the free times that you used to spend with them are now..yours! All yours. So what was once a mujahadah (struggle) is now being replaced with temptations. Yes, temptations to do whatever you want.
Procrastination is calling. Ah! You’re struggling to keep your nafs under control.
As if that’s not enough, your nasty neighbor Mr. Shaytaan keeps calling 24/7 like there’s no tomorrow, trying to gallop you away to the Sin City with him.
Man, and you thought exams were hard—mujahadah is hard-er, to the power of ten!
So you’re looking at yourself helplessly now. You’re tired.
The tests and trials are coming up fast, one after the other. They’re endless. Like thunders on a stormy night, flashes after flashes continue. Every drop of your strength has been squeezed out, and you feel like screaming for the world to just “Stop!” and give you time to breathe.
Guess what, dear self?
Nobody promised you that the moment you’ve decided to embrace this Deen properly, the road is going to be smooth and silky, a rosied life of carpets and confetti.
Rasulullah SAW and his sahabas R.A didn’t even have it easy - and so were the previous prophets and messengers.
How are you going to expect yours to be the opposite? Would you call that fair?
Allah Azza Wa Jall said in the Holy Qur’an:
“Do men think that they will be left alone on saying, We believe and not be tried?” [Chapter Al-‘Ankaboot Verse 2]
And Rasulullah SAW said in an authentic hadith:
"The Fire has been surrounded by lusts and desires and the Paradise by hardships." [Bukhari, Muslim]
This Road, is going to be rocky, slippery and full of thorns. You’re gonna get hurt, bloodied even, exasperated and exhausted.
But that’s Allah’s way of testing you whether you’re worthy enough to get the winning prize at the end of the running track.
I don’t know how long you’re going to hold on, dear self. But I hope, till your last breathe; promise me you’re going to try your best. Promise me, will you? Don’t give up on me. I wanna see Him SWT. I wanna hug my No.1 Hero, Rasulullah SAW and I’m sure you missed him too.
I guess that is all from me. Shall I see you in Jannah? Insha Allah.